Three Years

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3 years

Three years ago I sat down at my laptop and made my first post on this blog. It was about new socks. I was so terrified that I didn’t know what else to write about and I thought, “socks are always safe” so that’s what I wrote. Now three years later and I have so much more to talk about other than socks.

Knowing this anniversary was coming up had me looking through my old posts with a pleasant nostalgia. I can remember when and where I wrote most of them. Some were rushed in the mornings before class, some were in the evenings with a slow mosey and some were written over a few days as I edited and tweaked to my liking. Over time my voice shone through more and more clearly as I slowly became comfortable with myself and my writing style.

This past year in particular I haven’t posted as much on this blog because I’ve been throwing myself into other projects. My Etsy store, poems, lyrics, a few roadblocks and so many other things that just come up as you get older. But I’ve never stopped writing –  I don’t think I could if I tried. I constantly have a little voice in my head coming up with rhymes or phrases or ideas that spiral out of my control until I can write them down. It’s a part of who I am.

Three years ago this blog saved me. Saved me from feeling like a tiny particle floating through an ocean. Saved me from feeling broken into tiny little pieces. Saved me from thinking I wasn’t good enough. It’s taken a long time but I now don’t think any of those things. This blog was me taking the first baby step toward that acceptance.

So while I may not write on this specific blog every day, it is always in the back of my mind. It was the first brave thing I had done as an “adult” that terrified me to my core. Once I pushed through that fear, it became a lifeline and then slowly it became like another limb. It was something I could use without second guessing and that is absolutely priceless.

Happy 3rd Birthday blog baby. Thank you for being my lifeline.

Moving

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Hi blog baby. I’m back. And with some really awesome and nostalgic news. I’m moving.

After living in the same space for 1262 days, I am moving. (For the general population, 1262 days comes down to approximately 3.5 years.)

It’s still hard for me to process and I’ve been planning it for an entire month. I’m not very good with big changes so this is a big step for me. I like having consistency in my life and this apartment, my first in LA, was a big stability pillar for me.

So many things happened in this apartment. I spent my entire early 20’s in this apartment. I celebrated 4 different birthday’s in this apartment. I made new best friends in this apartment. I cried over people who left my life in this apartment. I danced with people I loved in this apartment. I started 2 blogs from this apartment. I started my Etsy shop from this apartment. I learned to cook in this apartment. I went through 4 jobs while in this apartment. I wrote my senior thesis in this apartment. I graduated college while in this apartment. My best friend lived with me in this apartment for a year and a half. I listened to so many of my favorite albums on vinyl while laying on the floor of this apartment.

I found my voice in this apartment.

I get very nostalgic when there are big changes in my life. I have a really hard time accepting change. I know change is generally a good thing, but I can’t help but reflect and mourn the end of different chapters. But that’s just what this is – the end of a chapter. A very big chapter. A chapter where I found my footing and learned to stand up by myself.

Since I love making lists, here is The Ritz by numbers.

  • 4 SAS Birthdays (21, 22, 23 and 24)
  • 26 canvas paintings
  • 117 vinyl records
  • 3 couches
  • 2 TV’s
  • 86 dreamcatchers
  • 7 strands of twinkle lights
  • 2 blogs
  • 2 cars
  • 7 plants killed
  • 1 Etsy shop
  • 3 leather bound journals filled
  • 9 tubes of red lipsick
  • 14 flower crowns
  • 4 jobs
  • 1 senior thesis
  • 1 college degree
  • 1 best friend/sister/roommate
  • Too many bottles of red wine

Goodbye little apartment, you were so good to me. Hello new apartment, I’m ready for my mid-twenties.

Moving

Anticlimactic

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I’ve been TwentyFour for a whole 11 days and lemme tell you, it is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. My days are relatively the same – work, gym (hopefully), dinner, Netflix, wine, sleep.

My birthday was everything I could have imagined and more. The night before, my best friend came over and made me a cake, brought flowers, brought balloons and we danced to Style at midnight. Then we took a slow-mo video while we popped glitter pops. It was the best.

The next night I went to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant (because margaritas duh) with my closest friends and we had a ball. A little girl came up to me at dinner and told me she loved my dress and my headband and I have to believe that was the universe sending me a little love on my birthday. I gave her one of the roses my friends had given me and she twirled around the rest of the evening. It made my heart soar. I hope she turns into a little gypsy. After dinner we came home, watched First Wives Club, took polaroids and danced in our sweats. It was one of the best nights of my life.

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The rest of the weekend was spent at the beach, at the flea market and poolside. Talk about living the life. As the first 72 hours of being TwentyFour creeped on, I realized how lucky I was. The people that surround me make me so happy, keep me on my toes and are always looking out for me. TwentyFour is going to be okay.

I leave you and my TwentyFour year old self with my favorite mashup of the year. It’s a combination of two of the ultimate girl gang members – Ellie Goulding and Taylor Swift. We are talking ultimate squad goals here. Love Me Like You Do and Style mashed into one and it is INCREDIBLE. 5 minute dance party, NOW.

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