Ways To Be A Diva In 2012

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Here are a few tips if any of you want to hop on the Diva Express

1. Take MySpace pictures of yourself on Instagram (should just be called InstaSpace) and put 20 #’s on the end of your caption i.e. #pretty #hair #model #hotttt

2. Blow off coffee dates with friends

3. Don’t text friends back. Ever.

4. Unfollow friends on Twitter.

5. Preferably only follow 30 people max on Twitter. This makes you look exclusive.

6. Have over 4,000 Facebook friends. Unlike Twitter, Facebook provides the opportunity for hundreds of likes on your InstaSpace photos.

7. Retweet compliments of yourself given by others via Twitter.

8. Capitalize the first letter of every word because you can.

9. NEVER add someone on Facebook. Let the pesants come crawling to you.

10. “Talk to my manager.”

 

If you follow these 10 steps, I guarantee you won’t have friends left by the end of the year. Here’s to all the douche bags out there. Cheers.

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