The Californians sketch that appears on SNL is incredible and hilarious. It has recently been brought to my attention by a friend that I actually am The Californians. Sad (not really), but toooootally true.
My valley girl accent comes out
every once in a while a lot and I may sometimes hold out my vowels for no reason. The traffic talk is something I’m guilty of on the daily and I’ve definitely bought fruit off a stand on the side of the road. I also act dramatic for no reason.
That last one actually happens a lot.
Those of you reading this who were born and raised Cali-kids, I know you’re guilty too. Don’t deny it, embrace it. Tons of people try to be bros every day and baby, we were born this way.
I love California. You can hate Nor-Cal, hate So-Cal, whatever (I know you don’t actually hate either) go to whichever one you don’t “hate” and live the high life. For you non-Californians, below is a list of the awesome things we have and you don’t. Haterz gonna hate.
1. THE OCEAN. Obviously other states are on the coast too but the California beaches beat all others.
2. Weather. It never sucks. It’s still 78 degrees in mid-November.
3. We’re called The Golden State. Which means we’re #1.
4. We have Napa, Tahoe, Sacramento, San Francisco, Monterey, Pebble Beach, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Orange County, Palm Springs and San Diego. Sorry ’bout it.
5. No one makes tacos like we do.
6. We gave you The OC, Laguna Beach and The Hills. Go ahead and tell everyone they are stupid, but don’t try to deny you haven’t seen every episode and wished you had your own dramatic moment at the beach.
7. We gave the world In-N-Out.
8. The Beach Boys wrote an entire song about how they wished every girl was a California girl.
9. “We’re going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali”
10. Wine Country. YOU’RE WELCOME WINOS.
Phantom Planet said it best:
“Driving down the 101, California here we come right back where we started from”