Hello Bachelor Nation.
This week Chris Harrison has blessed us with 2 episodes of Bachelor Sean. Episode 5 Monday, Episode 6 Tuesday. BLESS YOU ANGEL HARRISON.
Live thoughts/word vomit recap Episode 5:
- The girls are going to Montana. That sucks. Usually they get to go somewhere awesome like Fiji or Spain. Montana just sounds horrid.
- Praying that Lindsay doesn’t fuck up this date. I’ve got a lot riding on you gurl considering I have you in my top 2.
- Lindsay said adolescence. I’m actually impressed.
- Omg Sarah Darling concert. Sean is really going for the country concerts this season. Lindsay gets a rose. YOU GO GIRL.
- Selma keep it in your pants gurl.
- I swear all of these girls have the athletic ability equivalent of a fetus.
- What kind of competition is this Paul Bunyan?
- Sean Lowe: Professional Bachelor Rule Breaker.
- OH SHIT IS SELMA ABOUT TO THROW DOWN SHIT IS GETTING REAL.
- Wait Tierra gurl GET OUT AND STAHP SEAN DOESN’T LOVE YOU.
- Tierra you is a needy B****. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- YES ASHLEE. HELL YES. LOVE HER SEAN JUST LOVE HER.
- Chris Harrison, a modern day Dr. Seuss y’all.
Ke$haDaniella pull it together gurl.
- Fact: crying will get you a rose. Daniella gets a rose.
- Tierra is the crazy psychopath that does crazy shit and laughs at all her own jokes.
- 2 on 1 dates have the same amount of awkwardness and cattiness as middle school dances.
- Sean you’re an idiot. Tierra gets a rose.
- COCKTAIL PAR-TAY DRINK UP LADIEZZZ.
- Bad Girls Club reference. ALL THE AWARDS ROBYN. YOU WIN ALL THE AWARDS.
- “If I want to go get engaged I can go get engaged” OKAY TIERRA YOU PSYCHOPATH. In case you didn’t notice, no one will ever date you after this since you admitted you’re a psychopath on national television.
- “I am a nice girl”says Tierra. Excuse me while I spit out my tea and cackle on the ground like a hyena. Okay Pinocchio.
- Bye bye baby to Robyn and Jackie this episode. Jackie on the 2 on 1 date and Robyn at the rose ceremony.
- OMG THE LETTER IN THE PREVIEW FOR THE FINALE. So.much.drama.
In a nutshell this week: Tierra is a life ruiner, she ruins peoples lives.
Bracket update: Episode 5 I picked up 30 points to bring me to 132. We’re slowly moving up. Another new episode tomorrow Bachelor Nation. Stay classy (like AshLee. JUST PICK HER ALREADY SEAN.)