My Super Bowl Halftime Wrap Up: Queen Bey Has Returned

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THE QUEEN.

THE QUEEN.

Okay. I think I have finally recovered enough to talk about Beyonce’s halftime show. On Sunday when it aired I was in hysterics screaming FLAWLESS every five seconds. Later that night I rewatched the performance another 2 times. Then Monday I tried to get a grip but watched the performance another 7 times.

Actually let’s be honest I’m still not over it. I MEAN COME ON SHE’S THE QUEEN AND SHE HAS FINALLY RETURNED. I’m going to try to somewhat (but not really) contain myself and do a live word vomit breakdown of her performance because it was that incredible. It’s kind of long but I regret nothing.

  • She kicks it off with a giant light cutout of herself. SASHA FIERCE IS IN THE ARENA.
  • Then she starts with Countdown (edit: it’s actually Love On Top. I was freaking out so much I didn’t even notice I typed it wrong) and her vocals are FLAWLESS.
  • We have the infamous Queen Bey strut and BOOM CRAZY IN LOVE (my all time fave.)
  • HAIR FLIP. FLAWLESS.
  • Every woman will now take yoga to be able to kick like that. Bless you Beyonce.
  • Her bitches backup dancers have arrived.
  • I would have given my first born for that jacket she threw into the crowd.
  • THOSE LACE SHORTS ARE MY EVERYTHING.
  • That guitar. I mean can you be anymore badass. The guitar player is like “only for you my Queen.”
  • OH MY GOD THE FINGER LICK. EVERYONE IS DECEASED.
  • Mental note: I really need to work on my hair flip. 
  • “Let’s work” said Beyonce on the 8th day of creation. As so it was. And so it shall be.
  • OH MY GOD TILL THE END OF TIME. YES QUEEN BEY.
  • No one would ever let Bey go let’s be real.
  • SO. MANY. BEYONCES. IS THIS REAL LIFE.
  • Baby Boy Beyonce you’ve been on my mind.
  • The fact that she does all of these hair flips in heels should garner it’s own award. Someone make that happen. The trophy can be a golden weave.
  • OH SHIT KELLY AND MICHELLE. CAN YOU HANDLE THIS.
  • It’s my life dream for Beyonce to call out “SARAH, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?” 
  • BOOTYLICIOUS.
  • Their harmonies I am CRYING. SO BEAUTIFUL. THE TRIFECTA.
  • INDEPENDENT WOMEN THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR.
  • Michelle looks slightly uncomfortable. As anyone would when trying to perform alongside the Queen.
  • CHARLIE’S ANGELS REFERENCE I AM SO DONE.
  • Single Ladies. THE QUEEN IN HER ELEMENT.
  • I wonder how long it took Kelly and Michelle to learn the choreo for Single Ladies. (Actually Michelle probably fangirled when it originally came out let’s be honest.)
  • GOD QUEEN BEY’S SOLO DANCING I CANNOT BREATHE. FLAWLESS. She doesn’t even need her backup she’s like “MOVE I GOT THIS.”
  • Holy shit she’s totally solo for Halo. Shit is getting REAL.
  • THOSE PEOPLE WHO GOT TO TOUCH THE QUEENS HAIR AND HOLD HER HAND YOU BETTER NEVER WASH. YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED.
  • HER VOCALS. You get it Queen Bey. YOU GET IT AND SHOW THEM ALL.
  • Literally crying at the vocals at this point. Actual tears I kid you not.
  • “Thank you for this moment” no Queen Bey, thank you for returning and bestowing a new era upon us.

Final thoughts: 1) Someone should make a workout class based solely on this choreography. I’m convinced you would burn 2000 calories. 2) Everyone else needs to step the f*** down from the throne because the Queen is back. 3) Beyonce is everything.

Watch the full performance here.

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