This is the worst Bachelor heartbreak I have ever experienced. Worse than Emily not choosing Sean last year. Worse than Brad and Emily breaking up. Worse than Emily and Jef breaking up. Worse than Chris Harrison announcing he was getting a divorce (if he can’t find love then who can?) Why was this the worst? BECAUSE I REALLY BELIEVED IN SEAN AND ASHLEE DAMMIT. I POURED MY HEART INTO THOSE TWO.
I sit and write this 3 hours after the end of the episode and am still not fully recovered. Here is my word vomit from the episode, not that it even matters. Because my girl is gone. I would say I’m boycotting because my bracket is screwed but I am far too invested by this point.
- Welcome to the good life. Hello Thailand.
- Loving all of these casual shots on the beach, on the hammock, on the stairs, on the boat. Looking good Sean.
- Ugh all of this Catherine is coming in at full force. WHERE WAS THIS AIRTIME THE FIRST 5 EPISODES??? Ruining my bracket Chris Harrison.
- SHIRTLESS SEAN IS BACK LADIES. THANK YOU CHRIS HARRISON. BLESS.
- When did the Bachelor turn into Fear Factor? What are these bugs??
- Sean just recreated the intro for The Bachelor with the sunset. 10 points.
- Sean and Lindsay are cute but I don’t think she’s going to get the hardware in the end. Sorry gurl.
- Wait is anyone having flashbacks to Bachelorette Ashley’s Thailand trip with this dinner? It looks exactly the same am I right?
- LINDSAY ACCEPTS THE FANTASY SUITE. Sean is 1 for 1.
- I love Ashlee obviously but if she doesn’t get picked, poor girl is going to be CRUSHED. I mean she just called Sean the “love of her life” and “true love” in the first 2 minutes of this date. (EDIT: CAN I GET 10 POINTS FOR BEING PSYCHIC PLS)
- I have a bad feeling about this date. Don’t ruin this Ashlee. (EDIT: PSYCHIC AGAIN)
- ASHLEE ACCEPTS THE FANTASY SUITE. Sean is 2 for 2.
- Ashlee just gave her dream wedding ring and measurements. Dear god. DON’T RUIN THIS ASHLEE. (EDIT: GO AHEAD AND CALL ME THAT’S SO RAVEN)
- Ugh how am I just now seeing how cute Catherine and Sean are? I’m starting to not even be mad that she’s ruining my bracket.
- Are Catherine and Sean sailing with Jack Sparrow? What is this pirate ship?
- CATHERINE ACCEPTS THE FANTASY SUITE. Sean goes 3 for 3. You go Glen Coco.
- WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SEAN??? WHO ARE YOU SENDING HOME? (Commence nervous snacking.)
- I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS ROSE CEREMONY. ASHLEE DON’T LEAVE ME.
- These are the most awkward video diaries. Chris Harrison this is weird. Not your best idea.
- Lindsay’s dress so beautiful. Catherine looking good. Ashlee is out to kill with that dress. Werk gurl.
- “Holy shit” is right Lindsay.
- Lindsay is the first safe.
- Catherine is safe.
- IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. MY HEART IS BROKEN. THERE IS NO AIR TO BREATHE. SEAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME. ASHLEE IS GOING HOME. WHAT IS HAPPENING. NO NO NO NO NO.
- RIP SARAH’S BACHELOR BRACKET.
- Oh homegirl is PISSED. Doesn’t even say bye to the girls and doesn’t want to speak to Sean. PEACE OUT.
Thailand, the land of broken hearts (mine included). Obviously I’m heartbroken. For both Ashlee and my bachelor bracket (mostly my bracket). While I still have Lindsay in my top 2, I didn’t choose her to win so my final total for this season will be 198.
Can I have a moment of Internet pause. We had a good run. RIP Sarah’s Bachelor Sean Bracket. You will be missed.
Looking forward, does this mean Ashlee is the new Bachelorette for next season? You know since she came in 3rd like Sean did? I would totally kill it in a Bachelorette Ashlee Bracket. Me and homegirl are like this. Make it happen Chris Harrison.