Gimmie A Hot Dog, A Beer & A Malt. Baseball Is Back.



The day many of us have been patiently waiting for since October is finally here. The grass is freshly mowed, the hot dogs are cooking in grease, the beers are cold and overpriced – baseball season is finally back.

This means my overload of love for the San Francisco Giants is finally back and in public. I try to suppress it during the off season as to not anger non-baseball fans (I’m looking at you NFL and NBA people). This is me, being semi-respectful of your awful taste in sports when they are in season.

The Giants just finished their first series of the year against the Dodgers last night and won the series 2 games to 1. Someone finally woke up the Giants’ bats in the third game thank god and my boy Timmy got the W. I’m hoping his new haircut is symbolic of him turning over a new leaf this season and reclaiming his throne as untouchable badass. I want the real Freak back.

I know that this opening series was Opening Day for the Dodgers but I don’t consider it the Opening Day for my Giants. The real Giants opening day will happen on Friday at AT&T. I mean, a real Opening Day for the reigning World Champions should take place on their home field. Duh. So Opening Day for me isn’t until Friday. I will be celebrating with a beer in the Giants honor. Cheers.

The one thing I am sad about this season is the fact that Brian Wilson (BWeezy) is still a free agent. No team has picked him up and I’m slightly concerned for him. But I have a theory. My theory is that the Giants’ closers are cursed. Which isn’t all that surprising since the SF Giants franchise is now synonymous with the word torture. Look it up if you’re not a fan. If you are indeed a fan, you should know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t you’re embarrassing and you can just see yourself right out the door. Do we all remember Robb Nen after his stellar performance in the World Series of 2002? Even though they lost, Nen is never forgotten for being incredible. Then he threw his arm out and never pitched again. Now Wilson falls from the same state of grace after Tommy John surgery. BWeezy is one of my favorite players. Ever. His personality is weird as shit and I love it. If you’re reading this BWeezy, just remember that I love you forever and always. Call me and I’ll be your date to the ESPYs this year.

Here’s to another 7 months of baseball. Here’s to the Giants being the reigning World Champions. Did I mention it’s been twice in three years? Because it has. So you can all go ponder over that tidbit of information and rethink any shit remark you’re about to make about them. Because last time I checked, we kicked your ass. And anyways, I can’t see you over the glare of our TWO freshly polished World Series trophies. That’s how it’s done.


world series


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