I’ve been told in my life that I tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to things I want. In the beginning of something new I don’t usually know what exactly it is that I want, but when I do realize it you had better move or be ready to be trampled.
I’m really competitive. At pretty much anything. From sports to finishing a project first to seeing who can buckle a seatbelt the fastest (sorry brother) I always seem to find a way to make a competition out of things. To say I enjoy winning is like saying Taylor Swift enjoys dating men or Amanda Bynes enjoy taking selfies. It’s just a part of who I am and I doubt that will change, not that I would even want to.
The tunnel vision can be for anything. A job, an artist, a book, a painting, a craft project. Sometimes it comes in waves that last a few days, a week, or a month. It all really just depends on what it is, how badly I want it and how much I fell in love with it. It’s a blessing and a curse, again depending on what exactly it is. A blessing because it makes me work that much harder to try and get what I want. When I’m locked into that headspace, my work ethic is unreal.
The curse half comes in when it gets me in trouble. And sometimes lets other people get hurt.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in trying to get what I want that I block everything (and everyone) out. I won’t listen to anyone trying to convince me that what I’m doing is a little unreasonable. To counteract, I create reasoning that sometimes isn’t all that rational when you really think about it. But in the moment when I am 127% committed to what I want it seems perfectly logical. It isn’t until I come out of the tunnel vision, or out of the bubble, that I realize just how fast I was running.
I’m working on the whole “not blocking people out” thing and those closest to me have come to realize the signs of my tunnel vision when I start putting my blinders on. But if you’ve ever experienced something similar you know it’s hard to come out of the headspace when you’re locked in. It’s hard but I’m trying.
Tunnel vision doesn’t have to be all bad, but it isn’t all good either. Plus it’s always a little better when you have someone next to you working toward the same thing. Sometimes you need a fresh perspective to bounce fresh ideas off of. I’m going to try and take the blinders off, even if it’s just for a little while.