Adrenaline.

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Everyone has something that gives them a rush. Maybe your thing is sports or dancing or painting or running or something you’re too embarrassed to even say in public. But everyone has that something that makes their veins turn to fire. Makes you feel like you could conquer all of the skeletons on the closet.

My adrenaline rush used to be playing softball. I pitched for almost a decade of my life, and to this day it’s one of the longest-standing relationships I’ve ever had. I loved starting a game. I knew that no chain of events could happen without me throwing that ball. It was a total power rush knowing that I held onto the beginning of a domino effect.

By the end of my career, everything became very monotonous. I knew what to expect when I stepped on the mound and threw out the first pitch that would start the game. That’s how I knew it was time to move on to something else – I lost the rush. Things became predictable and I didn’t like that.

I found my second adrenaline rush at my job in music. I loved listening to new songs and helping find ways to fit demos with artists and tv shows and films. It was exciting and fun and new and I wanted to learn more and more and more. Then after a while the same thing happened. It became monotonous. I lost the creative vibe I was thriving off of when things started to become more business oriented. I started to forget what I loved about music. I lost the rush again.

Fast forward a little more and now I’m here. With my TwentySeven Things that always seem to be Up In The Air. A place that lets me talk to everyone and no one all at the same time. While writing the blog isn’t an adrenaline rush, it’s an outlet that I crave every single day.

I’m still trying to find my third round of adrenaline. I’ve found short fixes over the past few years in things like running away for a few days to a new city or buying something I’ve been eyeing in a store for a while or finding a new passion in painting, but nothing that’s been like the past two times. I don’t know what it might be this time. Maybe some sort of writing or a new career path that will bring back that fire in my veins. Something that keeps you up at night with new ideas and wakes you up early in the morning desperate to get started on bringing to life what you dreamt up the night before.

You can’t buy that feeling. You can’t pray for that feeling. You can’t wish for that feeling. It either happens or it doesn’t and I desperately want it back.

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