Every once in a while I like to go back and read my posts from the past few weeks. It’s very interesting to see how something reads depending on my mood at the time, what time I wrote it and how much time I allotted myself to write it. The past few weeks I’ve been in a slight rush to get ready in the mornings and haven’t allowed myself a lot of time to write my posts so to me, they feel a little hurried. So I tell myself “Sarah you should write them the night before,” genius right? But then the night before after I’m done working out, I just want to continue living the g-ma lifestyle I’ve been living, lay in bed with a cup of tea and a book and fall asleep by 10:30pm.
So you see my conundrum. It’s always back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
I also think it has to do with me trying really hard to get into a good creative headspace. You can’t force yourself to be in a creative space, it either just happens or it doesn’t. Lately for me, it’s only been happening for short increments of time and at the most inopportune moments. Like at 2:17pm at work, or right when I’m about to fall asleep, or when I’m drinking my morning tea at my desk. As a result of not being able to get lost in a creative headspace, I’ve been feeling a little bit out of it. To overcompensate, I’ve been feeling my old nemesis aptly named “Shopping Impulse” start to rise up again. She rears her head every once in a while and she’s a tough one to fight. Hopefully this time the impulse only leads to buying a few little things (like my new journal from Anthropologie) rather than, oh say 6 NEW DRESSES THAT TOTAL UP TO A LOT OF MONEY I DON’T HAVE. ( Because that happened one time and the aftermath and shoppers remorse was not pretty.)
I did buy a new planner from Etsy to help me organize my life. That’s been seeming to help. I can write my notes and to do’s all in one place rather than have some on scraps of paper, some in my iPhone notes, some on the backs of receipts and some in my head where I tell myself I will totally remember them in a few hours (never the case).
Today is Tuesday, feels kinda like Wednesday but not bad. I’m going to yoga tonight in an attempt to realign my chi and sweat out all the bad toxins in my body (whatever that means).
PS the new John Mayer album is now streaming on iTunes. If you know me at all, you know this is a very emotional time for me as Mr. Mayer is one of my “end-all-be-all’s.” I had one listen through to the album yesterday (while at work which ended up being a terrible mistake) and I teared up three times. Almost full on cried to a song but paused it, excused myself the bathroom, and got a grip on all of my emotions. Moral of the story here is, I’m probably going to listen to the album again today 1) because I love him and his music, 2) I need some new music to believe in again and 3) because I have no self control. The end.