Now having a few days to reflect on my weekend, I’ve realized that I’m pretty damn lucky when it comes to having friends. If you’re reading this and you live in a big city, you know how hard it can be to find people to hang out with and then on top of that, people you can actually trust. It feels like nowadays people are always looking to see what’s in it for them in a relationship, so anytime you meet someone new you have to have your guard up. One of the first questions people ask is “what do you do?” or “who is your boss?” so they can see what kind of “in” you have (if any). People don’t usually ask you “what’s your favorite flavor of slurpee?” or “do you like binge watching Harry Potter marathons?” It’s just not a thing people do anymore. (The answer to those questions would be red & blue mixed and definitely yes.)
So for me to have more than a handful of friends who I trust with most of my life is a very very rare thing, especially in your early 20s. I know many people who have less than a handful of friends and who are struggling because being in a city whether it’s LA or New York or Chicago or Nashville, can be very lonely if you don’t have people around you.
The story of how I met each of my friends varies from person to person. Some I met through a college living arrangement, some I met through friends of friends, some I met through previous jobs and some I met through hilarious situations that cannot be recounted on the Internet. No matter the situation, it seems that with all of them I almost instantly knew that we were going to hit it off. Something in my gut told me that I needed them in my life, or they needed me in their lives and we would be good for each other. Whether the relationship lasted a few months or a few years or forever, we needed each other and the world was going to make sure we stayed put.
Relationships take priority in my life over everything else, I’ve always said that and I believe that with every fiber of my being. If you don’t have people around you who love you and will be your cheerleader when you decide to take that jump into something you’re terrified of failing at, you’re going to fall. As much as we all want to be that independent woman or man who doesn’t need anyone’s help when it comes to taking care of themselves, you can’t be. It’s impossible. Sooner or later a crack is going to start in your magic suit of armor and that crack will slowly expand until one day without warning, BOOM you shatter into little tiny pieces. And when those little tiny pieces hit the floor, you need someone who loves you to pick them up one by one and glue you back together. In your early 20s, there aren’t very many people who are willing to take the time to pick up your little tiny pieces and fix you up so when you find one of those people who will, hold onto them for dear life.
This post is basically just a reflection and a thank you. If you’re still reading my word vomit at this point and you’re one of my friends who has picked up my little tiny pieces before, thank you for taking care of me.
If you’ve still still reading this thing and you haven’t found those people who will pick up your little tiny pieces yet, do not fret. Here’s my two cents worth of advice. Don’t go looking for these people because you’ll never find them. The universe has this weird sense of humor where it drops people in your lap when you’re least expecting them. So they will show up, you just don’t know who, when or how. Speaking from experience, I doubt you’ll find them in a bar so don’t go looking there. Maybe at the grocery store in the cereal aisle or at a mutual friends party where you’re watching the newest episode of New Girl or on a late night run to pick up In N Out. Wherever they are, they’ll be there I promise. You won’t see them coming but you’ll just know deep down in your gut that you found a a keeper.