I Have To Go To The Dentist Today


I have to go to the dentist today and I am not very excited about it. I’m not scared of the dentist or anything, it’s just the thought of someone prodding around in your mouth that kind of freaks me out. I mean they have a teeny tiny mirror in your mouth so they can look at your pearly whites from every angle. Creepy right?

In honor of me seeing the dentist today, here is a list of why I hate going.

  • The dentist trying to make conversation with you while having 3 dentist tools sticking out of your mouth.
  • The dental assistants trying to ask you about your life as you’re sitting there with the fluoride dripping down your chin.
  • The fact that you can’t eat for an hour after the fluoride. And I’m usually starving after sitting in that dental chair for an hour.
  • Taking x-rays and trying not to break your jaw while biting down on the little microchips they put in between your teeth.
  • The dental assistants asking you if you floss regularly. This is the one moment when all around the globe people come together to lie their asses off.
  • The fact that I am now an “adult” and can’t go take a toy out of the treasure chest. I may be old but I still like playing with those weird sticky hand things you fling at the wall.

Here’s some Ross Geller to get you through your morning. Enjoy the teeth.


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