Three years ago I sat down at my laptop and made my first post on this blog. It was about new socks. I was so terrified that I didn’t know what else to write about and I thought, “socks are always safe” so that’s what I wrote. Now three years later and I have so much more to talk about other than socks.
Knowing this anniversary was coming up had me looking through my old posts with a pleasant nostalgia. I can remember when and where I wrote most of them. Some were rushed in the mornings before class, some were in the evenings with a slow mosey and some were written over a few days as I edited and tweaked to my liking. Over time my voice shone through more and more clearly as I slowly became comfortable with myself and my writing style.
This past year in particular I haven’t posted as much on this blog because I’ve been throwing myself into other projects. My Etsy store, poems, lyrics, a few roadblocks and so many other things that just come up as you get older. But I’ve never stopped writing – I don’t think I could if I tried. I constantly have a little voice in my head coming up with rhymes or phrases or ideas that spiral out of my control until I can write them down. It’s a part of who I am.
Three years ago this blog saved me. Saved me from feeling like a tiny particle floating through an ocean. Saved me from feeling broken into tiny little pieces. Saved me from thinking I wasn’t good enough. It’s taken a long time but I now don’t think any of those things. This blog was me taking the first baby step toward that acceptance.
So while I may not write on this specific blog every day, it is always in the back of my mind. It was the first brave thing I had done as an “adult” that terrified me to my core. Once I pushed through that fear, it became a lifeline and then slowly it became like another limb. It was something I could use without second guessing and that is absolutely priceless.
Happy 3rd Birthday blog baby. Thank you for being my lifeline.