Three Years

Standard

3 years

Three years ago I sat down at my laptop and made my first post on this blog. It was about new socks. I was so terrified that I didn’t know what else to write about and I thought, “socks are always safe” so that’s what I wrote. Now three years later and I have so much more to talk about other than socks.

Knowing this anniversary was coming up had me looking through my old posts with a pleasant nostalgia. I can remember when and where I wrote most of them. Some were rushed in the mornings before class, some were in the evenings with a slow mosey and some were written over a few days as I edited and tweaked to my liking. Over time my voice shone through more and more clearly as I slowly became comfortable with myself and my writing style.

This past year in particular I haven’t posted as much on this blog because I’ve been throwing myself into other projects. My Etsy store, poems, lyrics, a few roadblocks and so many other things that just come up as you get older. But I’ve never stopped writing –  I don’t think I could if I tried. I constantly have a little voice in my head coming up with rhymes or phrases or ideas that spiral out of my control until I can write them down. It’s a part of who I am.

Three years ago this blog saved me. Saved me from feeling like a tiny particle floating through an ocean. Saved me from feeling broken into tiny little pieces. Saved me from thinking I wasn’t good enough. It’s taken a long time but I now don’t think any of those things. This blog was me taking the first baby step toward that acceptance.

So while I may not write on this specific blog every day, it is always in the back of my mind. It was the first brave thing I had done as an “adult” that terrified me to my core. Once I pushed through that fear, it became a lifeline and then slowly it became like another limb. It was something I could use without second guessing and that is absolutely priceless.

Happy 3rd Birthday blog baby. Thank you for being my lifeline.

Advertisements

Moving

Standard

Hi blog baby. I’m back. And with some really awesome and nostalgic news. I’m moving.

After living in the same space for 1262 days, I am moving. (For the general population, 1262 days comes down to approximately 3.5 years.)

It’s still hard for me to process and I’ve been planning it for an entire month. I’m not very good with big changes so this is a big step for me. I like having consistency in my life and this apartment, my first in LA, was a big stability pillar for me.

So many things happened in this apartment. I spent my entire early 20’s in this apartment. I celebrated 4 different birthday’s in this apartment. I made new best friends in this apartment. I cried over people who left my life in this apartment. I danced with people I loved in this apartment. I started 2 blogs from this apartment. I started my Etsy shop from this apartment. I learned to cook in this apartment. I went through 4 jobs while in this apartment. I wrote my senior thesis in this apartment. I graduated college while in this apartment. My best friend lived with me in this apartment for a year and a half. I listened to so many of my favorite albums on vinyl while laying on the floor of this apartment.

I found my voice in this apartment.

I get very nostalgic when there are big changes in my life. I have a really hard time accepting change. I know change is generally a good thing, but I can’t help but reflect and mourn the end of different chapters. But that’s just what this is – the end of a chapter. A very big chapter. A chapter where I found my footing and learned to stand up by myself.

Since I love making lists, here is The Ritz by numbers.

  • 4 SAS Birthdays (21, 22, 23 and 24)
  • 26 canvas paintings
  • 117 vinyl records
  • 3 couches
  • 2 TV’s
  • 86 dreamcatchers
  • 7 strands of twinkle lights
  • 2 blogs
  • 2 cars
  • 7 plants killed
  • 1 Etsy shop
  • 3 leather bound journals filled
  • 9 tubes of red lipsick
  • 14 flower crowns
  • 4 jobs
  • 1 senior thesis
  • 1 college degree
  • 1 best friend/sister/roommate
  • Too many bottles of red wine

Goodbye little apartment, you were so good to me. Hello new apartment, I’m ready for my mid-twenties.

Moving

My Two Year Anniversary.

Standard

two year and counting

Two Years.

Two years of word vomit, reflection, reviews, and generally saying whatever I damn well please. Two years of this internet space being my safe haven from what sometimes feels like an overwhelming reality. Two years of using this space to express what I sometimes cannot express with my actual vocal chords.

I currently sit cross legged with a flower crown atop my head while typing and blasting Tom Petty in preparation of seeing him live and in the flesh on Friday night. (It is one of my bucket list items to see American Girl performed live – I may or may not lose my shit when this actually happens on Friday.)

Sitting down to write this two year anniversary post and envisioning the first time I sat down to write my very first post is bringing up extreme nostalgia – but in a very good way. I can remember feeling overwhelmed, terrified and extremely intimidated to sit down in front of my laptop. Knowing I had the freedom to write about literally anything my heart desired felt liberating.  I was in control of what went on this page, my page.

The past few months I haven’t been as active on this blog space as I previously have, but in no way does that mean I have abandoned it. Rather, I’ve geared my energy into other writing outlets. Poems, lyrics, stories, paintings – really anything that my brain seems to choose on any particular day. I never want writing to feel like a chore or to feel like I’m forcing anything. I know (and it is shown through this blog) that I work best when I write in a stream of consciousness. That’s when you get the real, honest, raw version of Sarah. And that my internet friends, is the core of this blog.

I can’t believe two years have gone by. What started out as a desperate escape from the chaos in my life has turned into a timeline of how I’ve grown in the past two years. You can literally read through my emotional and mental growth when combing through these posts. You can track my ups, downs and sometimes sideways steps that I have taken in the past 730 days. I’ve been enlightened, scared, fearless, happy, sad, emotional, and sometimes even rebellious. There has been more than one occasion when someone told me that I shouldn’t post certain things on this blog but at the end of the day, it is my own creation and I made it with the intention of being honest. I don’t care who reads, judges, reacts or comments on these posts. They are an outlet of self expression – nothing more, nothing less.

This is my house. This is my home. This is my space. Happy anniversary blog baby. I can’t believe we made it through two whole years!

Here are some of my favorite posts from the past year. (You can find my favorite posts from my first year of blogging here.)

2 year blog