Today is December 31, 2014. We are currently in the last few hours of 2014. The last few hours of “what did I even do this year and why did it go so fast.” As I get older, the years go by faster. I’ve slowly come to realize that small fact isn’t as fun as 8 year old Sarah imagined it being. I want time to go extra slowly throughout my 20’s. I want to enjoy this weird chaos and constant state of unknown (as painful as it sometimes is) because I know it’s never going to be exactly like this ever again.
This year was an interesting one. I transitioned from 22 to 23 (the last year of being a baby adult), I held the same job for the entire year, I saw my favorite band twice in one week (STEVIEEEEE), I handled a lot of adult like responsibilities on my own and I also bought a lot of new socks. As lovely and weird as 2014 could be at times, I am more than ready to start 2015. I haven’t felt this settled in my home, work, and personal life probably ever. I finally feel that for the most part, I can stand on my own two feet and handle a lot of things that get thrown at me. As much as I would say that in the past five years, it hasn’t necessarily been true but now I finally like slightly less of a liar about it.
Here are a few lists because I love making lists. Also they make me feel like I can compartmentalize/organize my brain which in turn makes me feel just a tiny bit more sane.
“Adult” things I’ve done this year
- Bought a new car (HELLO THIS IS A HUGE DEAL)
- Bought a new laptop (HELLO THIS IS ALSO A HUGE DEAL)
- Cancelled my cable
- Managed to set up a new router and not destroy the internet in my apartment
- Successfully cook banana bread on more than one occasion
- Bought a new vacuum and actually used it more than five times
Sarah things I’ve done this year
- Saw Fleetwood Mac/Gypsy Mother Stevie Nicks TWICE in one week
- Proud owner of 7+ kimonos
- Learned how to make dreamcatchers
- Proud owner of crystals for healing, meditating and spiritual learning
- Read lots of new fiction and poetry books
- Completed my self given Phoenix writing project on time and was very very proud with the outcome and actual completion of a long-term project
- Brave enough to show others things that I’ve written aka making baby baby baby strides to get over my self-consciousness about writing
- Bought 14+ new pairs of socks because I love new socks
- Done things not because I had to and not because someone told me to, but purely because they make me happy
This is me in the last week of 2014. I hope next year brings a lot more photos like this one because in this exact moment, I was so happy to be exactly where I was. I was so happy just being present.
Today I forgot my computer at home after I spent the night at a friends. So I am attempting to write this on my snazzy iPhone and hoping nothing too weird happens when I try to post it. I love my iPhone but typing more than 2 sentences on it at a time gives me slight anxiety.
I’ve realized the past few posts have sort of read like someone’s 2003 Xanga blog and for that I apologize. I think I’m having a 20-something moment but I’m not quite sure what it is yet. I’m trying to work through it and I will let you know as soon as I do. Or rather, I’ll let this blog know since it’s the vessel to my word vomit.
In conclusion for today, I would like to say I have restored a little bit of faith in the establishment that is Forever 21. I have recently grown to hate Forever 21 as I discovered all of their clothing is built for 11 year old girls with no boobs or hips. But recently I was told to buy their tights as they are cheap and decent, so I did. And this morning when I put them on I was pleasantly surprised. They are actually not see through and not paper thin, so you go Forever 21. Thanks for not being completely useless.
This is going to be a bit of word vomit so please bear with me. Over the past few weeks and months, I’ve felt that there has been a lot of news of babies, engagements and weddings – which is (usually) always lovely news don’t get me wrong. But for some reason it almost feels like it’s an unusual amount for someone my age. I didn’t think I would be bombarded with baby, engagement and wedding news until I was in my late twenties, early thirties. But I just have this feeling like there are babies and rings popping up everywhere.
Maybe it’s more back home than down in LA. Actually I’m positive it’s more back home than in LA. I just really don’t get why people at home are in such a rush to get married and start poppin out the children. Don’t you want to enjoy being young before you have to take care of another human being?
I can barely take care of myself. I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend let alone how many times a day I would need to feed a child. On top of that, kids wake up at like 4am. FOUR AM. No one should be awake at that hour. The sun isn’t even awake at that hour. Also, I still have a weakness for splurging on things like boots and concert tickets and that money would most likely have to go to boring things like diapers, wedding decorations, scrunchies and/or the open bar that all of my single friends would take full advantage of (the last one is fun obviously but much more fun if you’re a single person). In conclusion, I’m just too damn selfish right now to want to give all that up.
But the thing is, I should be selfish. This is the one point in our lives as young twenty-somethings where we are allowed to be selfish and do the things we want to do without having to ask mom and dad if it’s okay. You’re finally out on your own, out of the house, playing your bills, paying your rent, doin it all yourself like the “Independent Woman” that Destiny’s Child groomed us to be. If you have a kid or you’re about to get married, you have either a child or a fiancée to answer to. In both of those situations you have another person you have a responsibility to. Right now, the only people I answer to are myself and my yoga studio which I auto-pay for on a monthly basis (so I better go/answer to them to get my money’s worth).
Kids are great, I’m sure being married is great too if you can find someone that’s not a total asshole and half normal. But right now both of those are so far away from my mind that it’s more likely I’ll be able to resolve the government shutdown.
On a far less serious note, enjoy this video of music artists reading mean tweets about themselves. Happy Hump Day.