RIP Sarah’s Bachelorette Bracket

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Bachelorette Des

Today is a sad sad day. Today, I mourn the loss of my Bachelorette Des Bracket. My number one boy Brandon got sent home last night. There is video footage of me screaming bloody murder at the television.

I’m still so upset that I can’t really comprehend my feelings enough to compose a decent blog post. I will be in mourning for the greater part of the afternoon, reminiscing on what could have been had Des given Brandon a chance. HE WAS SO PERFECT DES HOW COULD YOU. HE SAID HE WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU JUST SHUT HIM DOWN.

Brandon I still love you. My bracket is so screwed.

Brandon

 

 

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Bachelorette Des Bracket

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Bless the heavens, bless ABC and bless Chris Harrison because my Monday nights have meaning again. The Bachelorette is back with 25 new men vying for Des’ heart. This process can also be referred to as “Sarah feeling so much better about her own life after watching countless men run headfirst into a train wreck on national television.”

We all remember Des as the girl Sean sent home on the final 4 hometown dates on the last season of Bachelor. Poor Des was heartbroken, but fear not because gurl you got the sweet end of this deal from ABC. Des now has 25 men who all want to have her babies.

I know a lot of you out there like to play bracket and believe me, that’s my favorite thing to do on this show. Below is a bracket I tweaked a little to my liking and my point system is as follows: 1 point for each correct guy the first night, 2 points for 2nd night, 3 points for 3rd night and so on and so on. I play a little different from most people in that I like to watch the first episode, take copious notes and then create my bracket rather than just make decisions based off of their pictures and bios. So if you’re playing my way, everyone automatically starts with 19 points and you go from there. Make sense?

My top 4 for the season are Brooks, Brandon, Michael G and Chris with Brandon coming out as the man Des’ happily marries in the sunset with Chris Harrison leading the ceremony. But my friend and I were analyzing before making our brackets and we think there might be a dark horse like last season. We’ve officially dubbed the dark horse as “the Catherine” because last year no one even knew who Catherine was until episode 5 and she went on to be the winner. She had no air time and completely killed my bracket. So if there is another Catherine this year I’m totally screwed.

Good luck to all with your bracket and here’s to another season of finding love complete train wrecks on The Bachelorette!

Des Bracket

Bachelor Sean: We Have A Winner/Wifey

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Here we go. The last Bachelor Sean episode of the season. To be honest I’m still mourning the loss of my #1 girl Ashlee but I’m hoping this episode brings drama and tears to pick me up. Will there be a ring? Will Sean walk away without a wife? WHO IS THAT DAMN LETTER FROM???

  • “One of the most beautiful moments in Bachelor history” but aren’t they all Chris? I mean they are until they finally break up.
  • Here we go Catherine. This is the make it or break it girl.
  • 10 points to Catherine for getting Dad’s approval. Girl is passing with flying colors.
  • Lindsay steps up to the plate and brings gifts. Where the hell do you get gifts/new outfits like that in Thailand? Just curious.
  • Oh shit is Dad switching sides? He just pulled out the “I’ve been praying for you” card. Jesus has entered the building.
  • Mom isn’t really giving much for either Catherine or Lindsay. Tough crowd.
  • Ooooh mom breaks down. She doesn’t want him to rush into something too soon. Wise words mom considering most Bachelor relationships end in ruin. (I would say it’s a 94% chance it will end in ruin.)
  • WHAT IS THE ANNOUNCEMENT CHRIS IS SOMEONE PREGGO???
  • Sean and Lindsay with the lantern. Que typical Bachelor love music.
  • Sean says he thinks that right now, Lindsay is the one. I would think a random was the love of my life too if I was watching a lantern of our love fly away into the Thailand sky.
  • We’ve got an ass grab on national television. Sean getting frisky.
  • Oh god what is Catherine doing. Stop crying and pull it together girl.
  • HE IS GETTING A RING. SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET PROPOSED TO.
  • Let it go on record that Lindsay is wearing a silver dress. Not horrible but not good either.
  • Catherine is wearing gold. It’s all over. Catherine wins I’m calling it now. The dominant color person always gets chosen.
  • OH SHIT ASHLEE IS BACK WATCH YO BACK SEAN.
  • Ashlee did not want to say that. She is talking through a locked jaw right now. It’s okay I still love you girl.
  • Lindsay is first out of the limo. She loses. Did I call it or did I call it? Silver never beats gold.
  • Sean is crying his eyes out. Poor Lindsay.
  • Oh god my heart goes out to Lindsay. Stand tall girl.
  • Can we all give Lindsay a standing O for taking her shoes off. SHE IS SO THROUGH WITH SEAN. You go girl.
  • Be mad Lindsay. You have the god damn right to be furious.
  • THE LETTER IS FROM CATHERINE. CHRIS HARRISON TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS I’M HYPERVENTILATING OVER HERE.
  • And here comes Sean’s golden girl. Literally.
  • That note was the cutest thing in Bachelor history.
  • Catherine just blinked 17 times in 3 seconds.
  • MY TEARS ARE REAL AND THEY ARE HAPPENING NOW.
  • THE PROPOSAL. THE RING. THE ROCK. DID YOU ALL SEE THE SIZE OF THAT ROCK???
  • THEY ARE RIDING AWAY ON AN ELEPHANT INTO THE SUNSET NO WAY. COOLEST FINALE EVER. ALL THE AWARDS SEAN AND CATHERINE. ALL THE AWARDS.
  • Lindsay’s new hair is bangin.
  • Lindsay is straight handling this like a pro. She looks like a goddess.
  • Side note: Why are there so many candles? Isn’t that a fire hazard?
  • UGH SEAN AND CATHERINE ARE SO CUTE.
  • “Everyone is so happy for you” says Chris Harrison. Everyone except Ashlee… (pretty sure she’s still bitter)
  • WAIT THE WEDDING WILL BE ON TV OMG TEARS TEARS TEARS. PARTY TIMEEEE.
  • Of course Chris Harrison is ordained. Of course.
  • DES IS THE NEW BACHELORETTE I AM GOING TO KILL IN THE BRACKET.

Sean/Catherine

There you have it Bachelor Nation. Sean is engaged to Catherine and their wedding will be televised. I can’t wait to watch and cry over how cute they are. But more importantly I can’t wait for summer when Des becomes the new Bachelorette and we have 25 new men to drool over. I’m going to kill in her bracket. She’s going to be fairly easy to predict. I’m calling well over 200 points. (Someone hold me to that.) I’ll see you in a few months Bachelor(ette) Nation. Good night, and god bless Chris Harrison and Catherine’s ring.