Domestic Girl 397: Tamales

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I know the post title is usually Domestic Girl 101 but today’s lesson is a little more complex than what the average (or below average, there is no shame) 20-something can do on their own. In simpler terms, my mama did 78% of the work while I just helped when everything was finally ready to go. Props to you mama.

Tamales are a holiday traditions for those with a Latino heritage. Ever since I can remember, my family has made tamales when Christmas rolls around. I bet some of you out there have had tamales at restaurants or from a store and let me tell you, they are nothing compared to home made tamales. Especially ours.

Ojas

So you have your masa (the glue that keeps everything together), the ojas (corn leaves to keep it all in) and the meat (we do some with pork and a chile sauce and some with chicken and a green sauce).

Meat/Ojas

I was once purely a “masa girl” which means I was only allowed to spread the masa on the ojas, not allowed to put the meat in. I eventually graduated to being allowed to do everything but let me tell you, it took a long time. Now mama and I are so good that we can make about 4 dozen in about an hour, hour and a half tops. Talk about champs.

I’ve already promised some of you out there a few tamales when I head back down to La-la land and I intend to keep that promise. You are in a for a real treat.

Cookeddd

SANTA WAS HERE.

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It’s Christmas. You shouldn’t be online acting like a hermit, you should be spending time with family and friends. But if you are online and need a break from your dearest loved ones, here is a quick recap of the happenings at the Solis household.

  • I painted the lyrics to “Dream On” on a canvas for one of my brother’s Christmas presents. Merry Christmas baby brother. Rock on.
  • Mom and I made 4 dozen tamales in an hour and a half. Sorry we’re the shit.
  • Mom keeps making sweets so Dad and I keep eating them. Then I feel sick from eating too much and have to nap. #roughlife
  • I found out my father takes selfies sometimes to try and be hilarious.
  • “I can’t eat too much cheese, I’ll get plugged up.”
  • I braved the Gilroy outlets on the 23rd, the day it decided to pour down rain. So I looked like a wet rat walking through Best Buy and Kohls.
  • The morning of Christmas Eve, my father and brother locked me in my room to do all of the wrapping because they suck at it.
  • 2 sided wrapping paper is the greatest thing ever created.
  • Glitter wrapping paper, while a good idea in theory, needs some work in the execution.
  • I wrapped one of my brother’s Christmas presents onethree, five, six times this year. I win the award for most hilarious sister.
  • Jarod GiftInstead of “F: S & J” on a gift tag standing for “From: Sarah & Jarod” it now means “Father, Son and Jesus.” So my parents got a lot of presents from Father, Son and Jesus.
  • My brother picked out a cuff for my mom from Saks. According to my father, “that will make you a ladies man.”
  • Mom popped some champagne for mimosas on Christmas morning. Then proceded to scream “SON OF A B****” as it exploded all over the kitchen.
  • I FINALLY got the Santa hat on my beautiful cat Bella. LOOK HOW PRECIOUS SHE IS.

Bella Santa

UPDATE: THE FIRST PRESENT I OPENED WAS SOCKS. THEY WERE FROM MY BROTHER. 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR. HE WINS ALL THE AWARDS FOR BEST BROTHER EVER.

UPDATE 2: I GOT A PRESENT FROM OPRAH

To: SarahFrom: Oprah

To: Sarah
From: Oprah

Pce & Blessingz to all, and to all a good night.

Finals Week Funny: Christmas Song

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Today’s post is short because I’m still trying to finish a 15 page research paper before my 4 o’clock deadline. Some things never change.

To make you (and me) laugh please watch this Christmas song about a dysfunctional family. I hope it makes you a little more thankful for your own. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry for how weird your family might be.

(Shout out to my dad who emailed this to me last week to make me laugh. You da bestest father.)