Pay Day


I look forward to the 15th and 30/31st of every month because it’s PAY DAY. Those mornings when I wake up and log into my bank account I have about three minutes of sheer joy. I feel like I’m Beyonce flying over St. Barts in my private jet, high over the peasants because I’m so rich.

After three minutes that joy turns to ultimate sadness when I have to start moving my money around to pay bills. And thus my happiness has ended and I am plunged back into my 20-something reality.

Today I woke up, realized I didn’t want to be awake, decided I could make it work one more day without washing my hair and promptly got back into bed. Wednesdays, man. Always Wednesdays.

I’m still on the hunt for the perfect shoe storage. I found one online last night but they were going to make me pay a shitpile of money for delivery services so I said no way bro, KEEP YOUR STUPID SHOE STORAGE. The search continues.

Happy Hump Day.