Anticlimactic

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I’ve been TwentyFour for a whole 11 days and lemme tell you, it is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. My days are relatively the same – work, gym (hopefully), dinner, Netflix, wine, sleep.

My birthday was everything I could have imagined and more. The night before, my best friend came over and made me a cake, brought flowers, brought balloons and we danced to Style at midnight. Then we took a slow-mo video while we popped glitter pops. It was the best.

The next night I went to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant (because margaritas duh) with my closest friends and we had a ball. A little girl came up to me at dinner and told me she loved my dress and my headband and I have to believe that was the universe sending me a little love on my birthday. I gave her one of the roses my friends had given me and she twirled around the rest of the evening. It made my heart soar. I hope she turns into a little gypsy. After dinner we came home, watched First Wives Club, took polaroids and danced in our sweats. It was one of the best nights of my life.

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The rest of the weekend was spent at the beach, at the flea market and poolside. Talk about living the life. As the first 72 hours of being TwentyFour creeped on, I realized how lucky I was. The people that surround me make me so happy, keep me on my toes and are always looking out for me. TwentyFour is going to be okay.

I leave you and my TwentyFour year old self with my favorite mashup of the year. It’s a combination of two of the ultimate girl gang members – Ellie Goulding and Taylor Swift. We are talking ultimate squad goals here. Love Me Like You Do and Style mashed into one and it is INCREDIBLE. 5 minute dance party, NOW.

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TwentyFour.

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I am now officially in my mid-twenties.

It’s taken me two days just to write and accept that sentence. For such a long time growing up I would try to imagine what it would be like to be in my mid-twenties. I fantasized about this amazing, structured, in control life where I lived in an incredible and sophisticated apartment in LA. I was that LA girl who was trendy and cool and goes and gets fancy cocktails in weird mod restaurants with her friends. What’s hilarious is that none of that came to fruition. What’s amazing is that I’m so glad it didn’t.

Turns out that at this point in my life I’m much more “make shit up as I go” than in control, more gypsy than sophisticated and more Netflix with homemade margaritas than weird mod restaurants.

In the two days it has taken me to write this post I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to leave my early twenties behind and to step into my mid-twenties. It has taken 48 hours, but this afternoon I finally realized that this is the first time in my life that I don’t want to get older. Is that what being old is? Finally realizing that you don’t want to get older anymore?

TwentyThree was exhausting, exhilarating, terrifying, stressful, exciting and trying. This year I’ve had a lot of self-doubt followed by spurts of bravery. A lot of questioning every move followed by “well fuck it.” A lot of feeling lost and then reading tumblr quotes about how it’s all going to be okay. A lot of running that more than once, landed me right back at home.

My post about TwentyThree last year ended on an elated note. I was riding a high of possibility. This year is a little different. Not that I’m sad, but more that I feel like I’m in a free fall. A lot of things in my life are Up In The Air (blog pun intended) and it’s making me question myself more than usual. TwentyFour is going to start in a state of floating. But floating is good. Floating means you can go in any direction you want. You can bounce off all the walls until you find the right place to drop. Floating means all the doors are open.

Not one to be without a list, here are my 23 things I learned at TwentyThree.

  1. Wear whatever the hell you want. If it makes you feel good, wear it. Who cares what everyone else says.
  2. Being able to flawlessly apply red lipstick is self-taught. Being able to flawlessly wear it is self realized.
  3. Fleetwood Mac is always a good idea.
  4. Netflix binges should never be judged, only appreciated.
  5. Being asked to be your best friend’s Maid of Honor will make your heart feel so full of love it almost bursts.
  6. Getting lost in a book still feels the same way it does when you were 12.
  7. The best writing comes out of honesty. Let yourself feel all the feels. Then word vomit to help yourself understand those feels.
  8. Glitter is fun and should never be silenced.
  9. There is no such thing as too many Polaroids.
  10. Family is everything. Especially when the double as your best friends. (Hi Mom, Dad and Brother.)
  11. Tumblr is the best fantasy dream land safe space ever created.
  12. Mixed CD’s are the most thoughtful gift a 90’s kid can receive.
  13. No one should be made fun of for loving things too hard. Whether that be a TV show, a boy band, a cheese or a person.
  14. American Girl by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers is and will forever be, your own personal anthem.
  15. Pampering is amazing. Face masks, bath bombs, hair masks, sugar scrubs, ALL OF IT. DO ALL OF IT.
  16. SAS must stick to tequila and wine, do that my child and you’ll be fine.
  17. Also, also I love to rhyme.
  18. Be a gypsy. Be a flower crown queen. Be a crystal hoarder.
  19. Make all the pretty things. Necklaces, flower crowns, dreamcatchers, all of them. Other people think they are pretty too.
  20. My moon necklace reminds me of who I am, and who I strive to be every single day.
  21. Birkenstocks are the shit and I will FIGHT anyone who says otherwise.
  22. Girls run shit. Lift up your girlfriends. We are strong. We are independent. We rise together.
  23. Trust yourself.

One last note, I love to set the tone of a big moment with a song. I liken it to purposely setting myself up for success. This year, I chose to turn TwentyFour to Taylor Swift’s “Style” complete with an apartment dance party in my Gryffindor sweatshirt and a flower crown. Looking forward to more pretty things, more dance parties and more “mid-twenties” freak outs this year. Good, bad, horrific and magical.